I had just accepted a leadership position at a small Chicago-based non-profit focused on building the financial health of low-income teens, and I was both under-experienced for the job and struggling with pre-existing imposter's syndrome -- a winning combination for crippling self-doubt. The weekend before my first day on the job, Mr. Magpie and I went out to dinner with a new friend and her husband, the latter of whom we'd never met. Though I generally avoid caricature, he fit the "finance bro" persona to a tee, right down to the fleece vest and distracted but excitable conversation. I noticed that he seemed only interested in talking with my husband, which was an immediate turn-off. A pet peeve of mine is when the men only speak to the men, and the women only speak with the women, at a dinner table. One treasured commonality between all of our closest couple friends is that conversation flows all ways when we are together, and there are no unspoken tensions about who should be sitting with and conversing with whom.
At some point over cocktails, the subject of my new job came up, which I quickly shuffled under the placemat in search of a different topic.
"What are you doing for them?" persisted my friend's husband -- the first time, I think, he had directed an inquiry my way.
"I'm their Chief Innovation Officer," I replied, which was factually true, but -- I must admit -- a small but flinty way to suggest that he might not be the only person at the table with interesting things to contribute. He looked up at me with excitement.
"F&%* yeah!" he cried, enthusiastically.
I will never -- not ever -- forget that exchange. Forgive me for including the profanity, but it makes the message, and they were his words, not mine. I was completely caught off-guard by his unexpected excitement about the position, and I laughed in confused and amused response. What was it -- had I surprised him? Had he written me off as something else? Was he only interested in people in positions of seniority? Was it the status? Was it the implication that I might have a more interesting back story or higher level of intelligence than he had estimated? Was it the general notion of a c-suite position focused on innovation?
I have no idea, and I've long since stopped wondering about his impression.
What I have continued to return to was the unanticipated hype he afforded me. In a flash, I was able to shed some of my misgivings about my appropriateness for the role and see, instead, the incredible opportunity in front of me. I saw, too, that maybe the CEO and Board had sensed something in me that they valued beyond experience. I might not have had what I needed on paper, but they must have seen the telling arc in my career history, my willingness to try new things, my ability to move quickly, my all-hands-on-deck mentality. Perhaps those qualities mattered more to them than ten years at the helm of an adjacent non-profit. Perhaps they wanted agility and ambition rather than pedigree. And that made me feel better. Charged-up. Worthy, even.
Here is my point:
Sometimes you need to jump outside your own world. You need to think about what you are doing from the lens of a ten-year-old you, or your grandmother, or a distant cousin with an entirely different lifestyle, or a peer in a completely different industry. Believe it or not, people envy elements of your life. People admire them. People are intimidated by them. Some of the things you find natural and normalized are akin to space travel for a neighbor. Some of the things you doubt in yourself others see -- quite easily -- as manifest.
Today, I want you to think about something you're harboring insecurity about, and imagine how others entirely outside your everyday world might see it, or not see it, related to the broader sweep of your life and livelihood. Chances are, there's someone out there just dying to offer unanticipated, much-needed hype.
Post-Scripts.
+A more detailed look at imposter's syndrome -- aka, that time I embarrassed myself in front of Caroline Kennedy.
+A former version of myself.
+In case you're worried about what other people are thinking of you.
Shopping Break.
+J. Crew has some cute new arrivals -- love this ponte dress and this boucle jacket.
+Such a fun cover-up -- would honestly wear as a dress.
+This top is just fab. Loretta Caponi vibes.
+The sweetest sandals for little ladies -- waterproof, velcro closed, and have a sturdy rubber sole.
+More children's resort finds.
+Cutest tote bag for a mama, on sale. Comes in a few trim patterns, but super love the monkeys or the hearts.
+Oh my gosh, I need this peplum cardigan in the prettiest pink color.
+This Veronica Beard jacket is fabulous (and on sale).
+Love the idea of pairing a bolster pillow in a designer fabric with simple all-white bedding (we are still loving these Target sheets, which we originally purchased as back-ups but now use frequently).
+Adore these scalloped bowls.
+Fun vintage-style sweatshirts. Love the Chamonix one.
+Has anyone tried any of the cosmetics from Well People? I was just reading good things about their concealer.
+High-quality, unfussy baby footies in great colors.
+Love this lunchbox for a little love.
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