For those who have been following me, you may have noticed my absence. The reason? I started feeling like this blog was a burden.
I used to have my weekly Mindful Monday posts. This past winter, every Sunday morning when I was having my breakfast, I started thinking of this blog, and I began to feel pressure to write.
When I started this blog, it was an outlet for me. It was a place to share my life - the good and not-so-good. However, whatever I wrote, it came from my heart. I always write about a topic I wanted to share. It was something that moved me.
This past winter when I took a break, I was looking for that fire again. That desire to share. It had fizzled out.
While I was away, my husband and I did a lot of skiing. We traveled to Northern Idaho, Colorado, and Banff, Canada. We had a nice time, but in April I started experiencing some profound anxiety.
I can't put my finger on what happened, but I wasn't myself. I think it started mid-winter, and I struggled. I hurt my knee in Banff, and when I came home I developed tendinitis in my right elbow. Work was a struggle. There were many organizational changes. I even struggled skiing, late season.
A perfect storm of troubles brewed around me and pulled me in, and I wasn't happy. I felt out of sorts. I didn't know what to do, so I asked for help.
I had a heart to heart with my boss at work. I asked Jeff for some understanding and latitude, and I put his head back on his body after I lopped it off each day. God bless him for putting up with me during that time.
And more than anything, I prayed. The conversations I had with my Lord were heartfelt and faithful, and also a bit desperate. It's no fun being at odds with one's self. I really needed peace in my life.
Then, I began to climb out of the valley I found myself in. I looked at that mountain of health and happiness ahead and took as many steps as I could each day. Some days I slid back, like days I woke up and couldn't straighten my elbow. Other days, I took great strides and smiled more because I had a great day at work.
It's been a long summer. I haven't golfed or been able to do a lot of yard work, because of the tendinitis. I have been able to read a lot, though. And, I feel like I'm coming back to contentment in my life.
My son is getting married next week. His fiancé is such a wonderful woman. I am so looking forward to that wedding. I am going to be a grandmother in the fall. Well, I can't wait for that either. My life is lovely. I had a turbulent late winter and spring, but I'm doing better now. I have so much happiness to look forward to.
I can't promise I will keep a regular cadence with this blog, but I will try. Until we chat again, have a great week. Hope to be in touch soon!
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