Being back in Wisconsin has both its benefits and pitfalls, benefits being I'm near family and pitfalls I remember why I don't belong here.
I love Wisconsin and the people, but I just don't belong here long term. It's only been a month, I'm already wishing I didn't leave Utah. That's cause I'm bored, I need more excitement than what Wisconsin can provide. Always have and always will.
I need a life that's constantly moving, one that's filled with spontaneous trips and excitement. One where I can be my real self. Let the wave of energy in me out and overflow. Now most places and people view what I describe as rather bizarre, but it's amplified in rural Wisconsin. I love the rural life but it's more of a way for me to reset and heal. Both are almost completed.
The thing that gives me most melancholy vibes is that the timeline I'm on. I don't have a full life to live fully healthy as most people have. I'm on a timetable of where I'm able to be at the level I'm on. Sometimes I feel I fight that battle more than I should, but it's hard not to fight the battle knowing my literal life is on the line. Though I had a 5 yr gap between severe migraines, I'm already beating the odds.
The only thing that keeps me going here in Wisconsin is a dream I had when I was 12- living a life of travel, owning my own remote business, going to edm concerts in other countries (hoping knowing the artist), experiencing/exploring places only seen in books, daily adventures, daily love/joy, and finding love that'll do that with me. Even if the latter never comes true- the rest of that dream is fucking dope.
Just keep going, just keep going
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