Geez, it was tugging at me again last night. I guess I can't be too surprised. It's a fucking casino. Once again, it was actually hunger. But the lizard was like "just have one while you wait!" I said fuck you and went to McDonalds when I got out of town and ate in my car.
Could I have just one while waiting for food? Possibly, if I used a hell of a lot of willpower and then vaped weed pretty soon after getting home. But why risk it? Logical me can sit here and be like "oh yeah, just do this and this" but when you feed lizard brain, it generally has other ideas and gets louder in it's insistence. So it's best to not get started. I did good last night. I continue to do good. I mean. I just keep top of mind that I am here to serve the tribe and definitely need a clear head for that.
Ugh. I just had some stringy chicken gristle get sort of caught in the throat. Other people swallow it and don't even notice but I am done with that chicken, geez. I'll just finish this little bag of potato chips and be done with it. Maybe drink another boost and just eat later. I don't think it "got caught" so much as I freaked out upon feeling it, froze, and brought it back up. B is like this too and she would have been done after that. Anyway now I got to head back, we only get a half hour.
Omg.
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