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For the first time in a long time, he felt like what he did mattered. Long-term. And he wasn't sure that he ever wanted to give this up. He wanted to figure out how to make Lanie and Dre get along.
How would he feel, if he had been suddenly reunited with his mother? He imagined he'd feel similar to Dre. Both of their mothers had left them, thinking their kids were better off. Lanie had at least made arrangements for Dre. She still refused to talk about why she had left the baby, all those years ago. But maybe if he was patient, she would tell him.
For some reason, he craved her trust. He felt like he was willing to do whatever it took, and wait as long as was needed, for her to open herself up to him. He wanted to show her…that she wasn't alone? That she could be vulnerable and strong at the same time?
"Can you just tell me what happened? I kind of remember hearing the explosion, then seeing it coming, and trying to get to you. Then it's just bits and pieces. Please tell me."
She sighed. "Okay. Well, it's a bit of a blur to me too. I noticed that the brush near the warehouse was on fire. Then I thought that I had to get to it, and put it out before it spread. Especially because of the fertilizer. And the next thing I know, there's a massive boom, and then I'm on the ground. With about two-hundred-and-fifty pounds of man on me."
He flicked her fingers with half-hearted playfulness. "Two-thirty-five."
She pressed her forehead to his, and put her hands around his neck. "Fine. A very heavy man pushing me into the gravel. You tried to protect my face, but I was still knocked out, I think, because the next thing I remember is trying to get you awake. I don't remember climbing out from you at all. For a few minutes, I thought you were dead."
The words reverberated in her head, and the awful image of his bloodied, broken body in the road stole her breath, making her hold him tighter as she was hit with the miracle of his life. After all she'd done to try to make sure he didn't get hurt, and he'd almost died. The guilt was like acid in her throat. How would she ever make up for what she'd done to him?
"Your head was bleeding." She touched the spot, where the hair had completely grown back now, then reached around to his back. "You had a branch stuck in you, right here. You could barely breathe, but you opened your eyes a bit when I started yelling at you. I tried to drag you, but my knees and wrist were pretty banged up, and I was dizzy. I tried as hard as I could, but I was basically scraping the skin off the front of you too. So, I ran to the hospital, and got them to bring a truck to come and get you. I actually tried to drive it myself, because they were going too slow, but they wouldn't let me."
"How did you run with injured knees?"
"Probably like a baby deer. It hurt, but at the same time, it didn't. I wasn't thinking about it."
"I keep thinking I remember us kissing."
She looked up the ceiling. Why this, again? At this point, she should just tell him, but she'd been lying about it so long that it was habit. "I had to start CPR on you. I couldn't do very good chest compressions because of my wrist, so I had to admit defeat and let them do it. Honestly, I wasn't thinking properly."
It could have been true, if he didn't think about the fact that he'd had to stay on his stomach due to the stick in his back. If she really had been doing chest compressions, she was sure she would have kept his heart going until her damaged wrist broke.
"They got you as stable as possible for travel, and we decided it would be best to get you home, since we didn't have all the equipment we'd need to manage your brain damage. I got the helicopter, and the private plane and life-support organized, and made sure Westvale would be ready for you when we arrived. I made sure that they got the best doctors. The best team."
She decided against telling him that everyone else had given up on him, and had already started preparations for his funeral. She could imagine the shroud, blowing in the warm night breeze, a chilling premonition of what she'd actually have to go through if she had to watch him get buried. His beautiful eyes, eternally shut. Those lips, forever deprived of their smile. Those dimples, never to be seen again.
He didn't pull away from her reverent fingers. "You got your plane there?"
"I chartered one so that we didn't have to wait."
Even now, the eighteen-hour flight felt surreal. Keeping herself awake by counting Ben's breaths. Reaching seventeen-thousand by the time they landed.
She heaved a breath. "When we got you here in an ambulance from the airport, I don't remember much more, because I'd been awake for days, and I collapsed after they took you to surgery."
Apparently, she had also tried to attack the hospital staff, but she just remembered waking up in her hospital room. Jake must have filled out Ben's forms, and put her as the emergency contact.
"How long were you here for?" His touch on her brow soothed her.
"Just a few days. I was basically fine. Just my wrist, and ribs, and a little bump on my head. It was mostly the exhaustion, and dehydration. Nothing like what you went through. You had a few surgeries for the worst wounds on your back, and for your brain. But you didn't wake up. You were out for more than four weeks. And then you woke up, and now, here we are." She didn't mention the fact that she'd abandoned him until the last few days of his coma.
"Yes. Here we are."
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~ Romans 15:13
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