This one is her most popular one. I used it just last night.
I'm choosing not to bother B because she is trying to work projects. So I can wait for her to text me.
The other day I did the thing where I got crazy all at once. Anxiety. Then texted her and got all mad that she was not responding right away. Anger follows anxiety very closely for me.
Meanwhile she was just trying to work. And she did end up coming over, as I related yesterday. What should have happened in those moments is a cold shower and the safety of someone who protects me, which is Jody and Michael.
If I seem to be repeating this a lot, it's because I somehow lose everything in my mind, in those moments. I tend to forget when I start freaking out that I do have other tools besides beer and that they work in about the same amount of time. After all, it takes time to drive to the store, right? So use that time to take a cold shower instead.
I am forcing an eat. Cup of noodles are great because it's so salty that it's Almost Taste.
I just have to do this one more time later today. And i have to chase this with a Boost. And maybe try to drink this broth because it has a bunch of salt.
I still feel a little saucy at times. Which is funny because I barely have the energy. For example I am about to go down to the mailbox. It's like a tour through what it must be like to have COPD or something. Definitely no vaping for me. Since I don't want beer and I refuse weed, that just leaves working through my issues in a clear headed way and occasionally wanking.
I have to work a little bit too. That is challenging because especially right now I could not care less about the admin side of this company. I respect the health care workers but I no longer want to be an apologist for the outsourced onboarding company. One of the first things I am going to do upon getting well is get a new job. One that does not embarrass me doing something that I can enjoy and be half way proud of. Anyway the meal is done.
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