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One evening a few years ago, I was crouched beside my bed in NYC, frantically wrapping a stack of gifts before a few family members arrived for a Christmas cocktail hour. I'd gotten into the habit of "on-demand wrapping," meaning I'd dig beneath my bed for my bin of gift wrap materials a few hours prior to crossing paths with the recipient, and then wait until the next convening to wrap the next gift for the next recipient. I sat back on my heels, annoyed, wondering whether slapping a bow on the top would suffice. The experience had become unpleasant, harried, and entirely devoid of meaning. I thought of my mother-in-law, who would never have permitted this to happen. My MIL is the type of person who makes everything magic by virtue of careful, artful presentation. An appetizer is never without the perfect plate and festive cocktail napkin. An activity for the children will materialize with a big bow or cello wrap on top. A small hand-made ornament will be equally as beautiful as the display case she's designed for it. On birthdays, she festoons her dining room with garlands and pinwheels and beautifully arranged vases of flowers, transforming the space into a gift itself. The effect? Magic. A feeling of being held and loved. Head-on celebratoriness. Attention is a form of love.
I will never be able to replicate or even approach her talents in this category, but I sat there and thought: "I'm missing something here." When did gift-giving and gift-wrapping become such a chore, so distant from its original intent, which is (I think) to say: "I see you and I love you and I wanted to give you something to show you how carefully I listen to you."
The following year, I changed tack. I designated one evening in early December to enjoy the gift-wrapping process. I pulled out all the gift wrap accoutrements, put on a Christmas movie, mixed up a holiday cocktail, and enlisted Mr. Magpie's company. I felt better tethered to the true meaning of gifting, as I found Mr. Magpie and I discussing each item, why it had been selected, and what the recipient would make of it. We also took our time, pausing to watch the movie, enjoy the cocktail, relax. I felt as though we'd reclaimed the gifting process. It had become something to savor and celebrate rather than "that thing we need to get done because it's expected of us." I should mention that this change in perspective (and process) arrived on the heels of a broader insight that I had been rushing through the parts of my daily life that felt like "interruptions to" rather than "the fabric of" my life. I'd realized, with some shock, that the chores, the errands, the meal prep, the gift wrapping were not "getting in the way of living" -- they were part of living, its very architecture. It's not that we always enjoy them, but we can at least attend to them with focus. Gift giving happens to be one of those areas that can, in fact, be pleasant and even profound if I make the space for it.
My suggestion is this: at some point in the next month, set aside a night to enjoy the gifting process. Put on a holiday playlist, mix up a cocktail (egg nog gets my vote -- recipe following), spread out the gift wrap all over the living room floor, and make it a holiday ritual rather than crammed-in-where-it-can-be chore.
My email subscribers received a special edition this morning that includes my favorite holiday cookie and cocktail recipes, holiday playlists, gift wrapping inspo, gift tag prompts (printable, or you can just crib the prompt onto your own tag!), and more that are helping me get into the spirit this year round. I'm sharing Mr. Magpie's Egg Nog recipe below (carefully refined over the years!), but if you want the full email, you can sign up here and I'll send it over!
Mr. Magpie's Egg Nog.
Post-Scripts.
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+For the nog, we use these glasses, and order our nutmeg from here.
+I shared a detailed post on making excellent cocktails at home here. Most of our favorite cocktail-making gear can be found here.
+All of my gift wrap closet must-haves here. I also have a section of my favorite Amazon gift wrap finds here.
+Meaningful gifts for men, women, and children.
+Fun holiday finds from Amazon.
+It's been really cold in DC this week (in the 20s! -- in Chicago, this was "warm" for this time of year), and I've been wearing my Dudley Stephens fleece over tissue turtlenecks and beneath my heavy-duty winter parka. Perfect layering recipe.
+A cute and virtually unbreakable set of holiday trees for a little one's room.
+I'm going to be "guest reader" in my son's classroom today (he is going to FLIP), and I had fun picking out a book from our bookshelves to bring in. Curious: what would you bring in to read to your child's class? (I feel like this is a good litmus for selecting an engaging, fun, beautiful book!). I'm currently debating between The Digger and the Flower and Grumpy Monkey, two of my favorite books to read to Hill. Both have beautiful messages, but are engaging to read with great illustrations.
+These shearling-lined trainers are so chic! Love!
+Yesterday, I mentioned a feathered, cropped jacket as a great topper for evening wear. I found the look for less here!
+NYE!
+J. McLaughlin is sending me this coat in the pale pink!!! Eek! So cute!
+MEEP -- tiny NB 550s!
+Speaking of sneakers, love these rainbow APLs for me...
+Chanel earmuffs. So extra, so amazing.
+Pulled-together lounge outfit.
+Did you order your holiday cards already? These are SO cute!
+I added some holiday round-ups to my LTK feed here.
