My best friend grew up in India. She's invited me to go to India several times over the last 23 or so years, and I still haven't done it. However, I have visited several temples with her in Colorado (Denver: plan on attending Sunday evening for the feast they serve. Castle Rock: this is a much larger and newer temple.) On this latest trip we went to an out of the way temple, (Definitely, not in the physical range of our usual trips) inspired by the Shri Haidakhan Wale Baba (Also referred to as Babaji. Who, as I understand it: taught that all religions lead to God, and enlightenment can be achieved through every path taken towards God. He believed peace can be achieved by chanting the Lord's name and that is the only way to avoid a coming disaster for humanity. So, our goal in life should be humanitarian based.)
Babaji
I was intrigued, that he tipped his hat to Christ Consciousness, as part of what he accepted as one of the roads. Having another religious figure, positively comment on your own religion, is an interesting and moving expression of universal love. The temple we went to is also dedicated to the Divine Mother. Her murti is treated as a beloved guest, and the murti is welcomed, taken care of, and then requested to retire.
The Divine Mother
This is so foreign to me. As Christians (outside of Catholicism), we are taught not to make images of God for worship. The cross is a representation of an act, not something we pray to. It's a reminder of what was given.
The Hindu murti is also given time to rest. So, if you show up at the temple during that time, drapes are closed to obscure your view of the resting embodiment of the god. In my religion: God does not need rest, he is not like mortals and he is wherever you need Him whatever the time. Offering my God rest has never occurred to me.
My God offered himself for my salvation. The idea of reciprocating, is the point of baptism. We do welcome Him as a weary traveler. Perhaps we don't recognize Him at first. (Hebrews 13:2 "entertaining angels unaware".) That is how we are to treat everyone. Every soul you meet contains a piece of God. If you love God: you love everyone. And in that light, I can see similarities.
I always figured my God found deep happiness in our choice to acknowledge Him and return the love he has for us. Like a parent. You are always there to love your child, even if they don't appreciate what you are doing at the time. But then one day your children see you for what you have done for them (Usually because they have kids of their own.)
That respect and honor for a parent is something you have to mature into, to fully understand the gift given.
My relationship with God followed that progression. Childlike love and wonder, a teenager's anger and blaming, then I had loss. So much loss. I finally stopped thrashing about when I became a mother in my late thirties. I woke up and recognized: that the only thing that had changed was that I wasn't immature and focused on the wrong things anymore. My life perspective changed. I recognized God was here all along. My God carried me through all of my past. I was just too dumb (and human) to realize it. Now, all I feel is overwhelming gratitude.
There is a white light shooting through my past. Illuminating my youthful struggles, lighting the way to bring that lost girl here: to where she is whole. It was a very long, dark journey and I am so grateful to be home.
My family come from River Brethren on my mother's side (The Amish, Mennonites, River Brethren and Quakers are all anabaptist.) Although, that's just one example. Every side of my family, came from religious persecution. We had no other reason to risk life and limb to settle in America. This is also how I ended up in a very rigid church, growing up.
The ideas I hold on religion are affected by those two things. Although, I'm sometimes at both poles: I'm generally a pacifist, but my family is full of service members, and I support and encourage every one of them. I don't believe in baptizing infants (that's the anabaptist in me.) In my faith you must be old enough to make that decision for yourself. Both of my children chose to be baptized, once they were old enough to make that choice. That, to me, is how it should be.
In Europe, in the 1500s, that would get you executed.
Like I said earlier: There's so many differences in denominations of the Christian church. I think even most Americans don't realize how different the beliefs can be. We're usually taught the "us versus them" idea in the church and therefore stick to the church we grew up in. We are "right", they are "wrong".
I happen to have always leaned towards non denominational churches. Although, I have been to a lot of different kinds of Christian churches. I even studied a short time with the Jehova's Witnesses, when I was in my twenties. The church came to me, when I was too lost to seek it out. (I will say: Jehovah's Witnesses are the most versed and biblically accurate church members I've ever met... in any Christian church. They can seamlessly go through the entire Bible, new and old testament, and show you how everything is connected. However, again: it was not my spiritual home.) The Protestant and First Christian Church, were where I started my faith journey as a child.
Me and my best friend at the sand dunes.
So, I am not Hindu. I am a devout Christian. But long ago I read a book called: "Finding Your Religion: When the Faith You Grew Up With Has Lost Its Meaning", by Reverend Scotty McLennan. The book had a similar view as Babaji. That religions were different paths up the same mountain. It was an excellent read and I recommend it.
At the time I read that book: I was exploring Taoism. Which was a fully random idea. I didn't understand Taoism, much less need to make a decision about following it. I was woefully under qualified to be choosing religions and I had no understanding of what I thought I was interested in.
I was inspired by reading the Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff. Great book. Great, fun way to present complex ideas. It's definitely something that needs to be read by more Americans, but it shouldn't really be a primer for conversion.
One day I found myself perusing a super hippie bookstore, with incense burning, patchouli scent everywhere and ingredients for spell working. There were tarot readers and mediums in the building next door. It was wayyy over the top and I was completely rudderless. When I asked for any books on Taoism (The girl behind me, was interested in Wiccan information. It was quite an eclectic store!) the woman helping me, took me into a back room full of stacks of books. She handed me the: "Finding Your Religion" book.
God had his hands in my life even then.
My path, back then, was of immature decision making. I wanted to have the authority to exclude anything I didn't like. But, that actually really meant that I gave up learning because it got hard. So I ran to another religion, that I assumed already: "thought like me". Maybe I thought they thought like the twenty year old me. The generally, spiritually ignorant, me. I saw glimmers of myself in something, but I wasn't actually there. It was projection.
Running from change is not what most religions are about. So my immaturity was in charge, and that is a sure way to fail at anything.
"Finding Your Religion" was later a fundamental building block at the base of my system of beliefs. I was on a well worn path of personal exploration. After reading it: I redirected my searching and gave the religion of my youth, another go.
One of the best books I've read about setting the course of your spiritual life.
This wildly different journey I was attempting to take, existed because I was frustrated with Christians and Christianity. I didn't realize my problems were associated with the churches I was attending, my parent's unexplored beliefs and my own ignorance. There are reasons there have been major schisms in the Christian church. I needed time and I needed to actually participate. Even when it didn't seem to really "speak to me" and even when I didn't immediately understand.
I attend a church now, that: I love, my husband loves and my children love. If you can have that many people agree on worship, you've found your home. My eldest son is even considering ministry. We took a path that was so right for my family, my teenage kids are completely immersed in it.
Anyway, the book was super helpful for me. I realized that there are reasons to worship within the religions that mesh with the dominant religion of your society. You will never get the nuance, believers from another culture will experience, with their religion. I had to take an honest look at whether the problem was me and my expectations, or: the actual beliefs of the church I was attending at the time. I found the answer to be a mix of issues: I hadn't given my faith enough energy. I wasn't at a place where I could say I honestly understood scripture. But, I was not at the right church, either.
I had been to church sporadically growing up. My parents "kind of" believed. My dad's parents dropped him off at Sunday school and then they went home, until it was time to pick him up. My mom's parents were quiet believers. When I went to church, I always felt lost and like I was intruding on someone else's religion. I yearned to belong and was baptized in middle school, but: I only fully connected with Christ, much later. There were definitely some things on my end that needed to change at the time, too.
Luckily, my family of four fell into our current church through my husband's direction. (I also met him shortly after I dropped Taoism. I'm not saying people should drop other religions, but I had to really look at my motivations in this process I had started, to be able to see straight.) my husband had a good path to follow. (My husband was the drummer for the most popular Christian band in Japan, in the 80s. He had a very different experience with worship than I did.)
So, that resolved the church choice: that I had a deep need to change.
My friends, my mom and me: on a fantastic journey
To me: the trips to my friend's temples were fascinating. The service was like a giant party, with singing and dancing and live music. I had enough respect for her to not throw on the mantle of whatever I was experiencing, just so I blended in. So, I have mainly been an observer.
I am also, so well rooted in my own religion, that other religions: do not "scare" or offend me. I'm mainly respectful and intrigued. I'm also not in need of outside answers. I'm where I need to be in my faith.
(I really don't understand negative reactions to other people's faith, that has been the root of many needless wars in history. I believe we're all doing the best we can, with the information we have.)
When I took my friend to the church I went to at the time (23 or so years ago), I was going to a really uptight, traditional Christian worship service with hymns and old style sermons. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't fulfilling. I was ignorant to the fact that there were energetic services out there (that don't kiss snakes.) Neither one of those types of churches were my speed. (Old solemn, worship with a church full of people, who were up to five and six decades older than me, or: the places where people were falling down and speaking in tongues)
Today my church is a little more like her temples were. Much singing and lightheartedness and lots of love. My pastor seems to have written each sermon just for me. I always grab one of the available tissue boxes, because I know I'm going to cry with joy and emotional release.
My friend once asked me if Christians considered themselves cannibals, because of Communion. That was pretty shocking to hear. I had never looked at it like that. Makes sense, that that would be a miscommunication in other cultures looking in at us. Hence: the need to be a part of a culture, to understand the dominant religion. I think a similar inability to process things, that I have is: the story of Ganesh, and how he got his elephant head. I find a lot of things confusing with the Hindu Religion. I'm sure this is where people get caught up in the differences. But, I also see a whole lot of similarities.
I don't have a need for others to believe as I do. Although, I don't hide my beliefs either. My beliefs are a part of me. They are me. I can tell you why I believe what I believe. But I don't think you will ever successfully force your beliefs on others, no matter what that belief is... and really, why would that be a goal?
Honestly: sharing your salvation story is a lot more interesting than beating people over the head with your opinions. (Actually, that goes for politics, too.) Those are lessons that come with maturity, though. I think this is why my friend group is representative of the entirety of the US. We're all mature enough and respectful enough of each other, not to bicker about meaningless or unresolvable topics. There's too much to share and enjoy.
Eating lunch.
The temple trip was a little different this time. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because I'm over twenty years older than I was when I went to my first Hindu temple, way back before I was married. Back then my friend and I were roommates in Colorado. Maybe it was because I now realize how deeply I love my friend. We're sisters through fate. She is definitely family.
I'm now more comfortable with the religion represented in her temples and I don't feel like I'm intruding into something private anymore.
I am also in a point of transition. I have been a 100% full-time mom for almost two decades and that role is shifting. My eldest son will be in his senior year this year. My youngest: a freshman in high school. My babies are almost adults. There is less and less for me to do as a parent. (Although: I took my older boy out driving in traffic, with me as passenger, for the first time today. Wow. Yeah. Gray hairs were sprouting as we drove!)
Back to the point: if you have never been to a Hindu temple, you should go. If for nothing else than to wonder at man's many religions. There is usually food involved, after the service.
At the temple between the sand dunes and hot springs: we had a wonderful homemade lunch and discussed life, with two men who were serving there.
There was not a service while we were at the temple, but those are worth experiencing (if just to mark the difference in your own world view.) We looked in the gift shop. There were a couple of things my mom and I bought. They were not religious items.
After lunch and shopping we walked to the temple. We washed our feet and went inside. My friend walked the temple, came before the Divine Mother and prayed. My friend handed me some sacred threads.
Mostly: my mom and I walked around and read the displays they had. We ended our trip to the temple. Went to a hotel and explored the Great Sand Dunes National Park the next day.
As we were heading back home, my mom mentioned that there was a figurine of an elephant (No, she was not referring to Ganesh, it really was just a little, jolly elephant figurine.) and that there was something tugging at her to go back and get it. My mom didn't know why. But we weren't doing anything else, so we all decided to go to the temple again.
My mom's happy, little elephant.
First: we visited the shop. My mom found the little elephant. (It was super cute.) There was only one, and it clearly belonged to her!
I found two figurines of Ganesh. A stone one and a tiny brass one. In the Hindu Religion, Ganesh is the remover of obstacles, and I felt like it was a good time to focus on that idea. A representation of allowing in possibilities. It was comforting and the right way to take that into my own life.
After my friend prayed, she encouraged us to sit with her in front of the Divine Mother. I really liked the identity of this God. There are universal things about: being a mother, and being mothered, that cut across cultures and time.
My friend marked us with Tilaka powder. And each of us stood under a giant brass bell where we swung the clacker and felt the reverberation throughout our bodies. From the top of the head, down and out the feet. I had never experienced anything like it before. It reminded me of some of my hippie friends, who are always talking about frequencies. (I have a super eclectic friend group.)
There were two bells. I believe this was the smaller one.
I own a large, antique school bell. It's made of iron, but I have not mounted it anywhere in the twelve years we've been down here. I figured I should find a way to mount it: to be able to stand under it and ring it like that. The mount would have to be pretty sturdy! It's a big bell.
It would not be authentic to my friend's religion, but my bell was my grandmother's. I always like to spend time honoring her memories. I'm also frequently in need of "grounding". I'm someone who is lost in thought most of the time, and I really have to work to stay in the moment: in my surroundings. Maybe praying with the aid of the resonance of a bell would help with that.
My bell.
So, it will just be for my personal use, and I'm looking forward to feeling the energy released by an old bell that used to summon children to school. Those same children, grew up, lived their lives and passed away, long ago. I wonder if I will feel their presence, too?
We wandered back to the store and my friend found some sacred jewelry that had been worn by the Divine Mother murti, to give to her niece, in India. She also found a Rudraksha bead worn by Babaji. It was one of those moments that stuck. As I watched a friend full of religious fulfilment: I had much joy for her.
It looked like we had all left something behind, the first time we came through. Something pulling on our subconscious, as needing to belong in our lives. Something we would regret later, if we didn't pursue it.
In the end, I didn't have something radical happen. I didn't convert. But: I am now interested in knowing more. Mostly, so I understand at least a few things, next time we visit a temple.
For 23 years, I just assumed I'd absorb some understanding in the times I've been to each temple. Nope. I definitely have to strike out on my own for this adventure. I have felt culturally, and religiously, lost in these temples and I continue to feel like that. It's a complex religion with layers to it. Unless you are actually pushing yourself to understand the significance of things, you aren't going to magically pick it up. Again: it's deeply, culturally tied, to people native to India.
I didn't leave my very solid view of my own religion. However, I knocked on a new door, and: information I had previously missed came out in response. I now have a deeper understanding of my friend's Hindu denomination.
I'm actually going to read the Bhagavad Gita and try my best to understand a very different religion than my own. I believe I owe my friend, and our relationship, that much.
In my own spiritual world, I feel complete. I know the path that I started on, was the right one for me. The hiccups and wandering along the way just created a more sure footed self, to explore the world around me. It solidifies each next step.
People my age don't often share their private thoughts about their life journey. But I'm here to tell you that it gets deeper, it gets better, as you age (Don't skip parenting! That was the best surprise of my life! I had no idea I would enjoy motherhood so much!)
A pink frock today.
I am so comfortable in my own skin these days. All of the uncertainty of youth has fallen away with time.
I am "a woman of a certain age". Still exploring, still revering my God, but also aware of: the many ways people find their paths through this reality. I don't know if one is more "right" than another. All are personal and part of each individual life. In this way, I agree with Babaji. All roads to understanding are beautiful roads. Peace is the eternal nature of the universe. All we need to do is recognize that, and spiritual freedom follows.
There's some tenants of Christianity that a lot of people automatically reject out of hand. I'm here to tell you: those are things you will find meaning in, after decades of putting one foot in front of the other, in religious practice. Age will offer you unique perspectives, and repetition is an interesting fellow traveler.
You are free to drift, if you choose, but that may mean you will remain spiritually immature. If you run away from things you don't find comforting, when will the running stop? Growth is always difficult, and sometimes: painful. That's why it takes effort to evolve spiritually. Experience and spirituality are two very different things. But combining them with time: they will show themselves to be more related than they initially seem. Sort of the trifecta: creating the meaning of life.
I recommend sticking with the idea of following a religion. It's not put forth to control you, it's our ancestor's best attempt to guide their children into greater spiritual understanding. Enabling that interesting and wondrous concept called faith. Don't give up on your faith. Maybe your parent's didn't get it right, but that doesn't mean fulfillment is not out there. Enlightenment is almost never afforded to people in their twenties and thirties. You also continue to "know nothing" until death. But eventually, you get some pretty good ideas about how things actually work.
Age makes complexity make sense. Joining something your ancestors believed in will bring a lot of family energy, and a strong foundation, into the experience. You may otherwise completely miss that, in this life. I have found deep serenity in my faith.
"But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15
Meet you out in the garden to reflect on life's meandering path, and all the places of interest along the way.
Crazy Green Thumbs
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