I am going through a flux right now that I can't deconstruct. I'm not sure if what I'm experiencing is 'normal' because it's happened at other times in my life, but it doesn't feel good.
A blanket term for it all could be anxiety, but I would imagine there's something more to it than that.
I have so many feelings and fears competing against the small glimmers that pop up throughout the day (if I'm lucky).
There's points during the day where I forget to breathe, all of a sudden I'm taking this big gasp of air. My mind is just lost in thought, and I don't or can't articulate what I'm experiencing well enough to even talk about it.
I've been drawing a fair bit lately, which helps a bit. But it doesn't take away the silence. I'm really bothered by the silence.
Somewhere between the chaos and the calm,
M.
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