When my daughter was 10 years old, I took her and her brothers to Walt Disney World for the first time.
I was a divorced mom working full time as a nurse, and I had saved my money and budgeted for months to find the cheapest way to get there for the weekend.
The four-day weekend only cost me a total of $1300 – today that would be about a days worth of fun at WDW., not including gas and food.
I digress.
At one of the parks, there is a ride called the Tower of Terror. I've always wanted to go on this ride, but I've been too afraid to go.
Now I was at the park with my children, my young daughter begging to go on the ride. "OK!" I said with skepticism "I'll go with you, but you've got to go on this ride!"
We made our way up the hill to the hotel that serves as a façade for this ride. As we snaked through the line, the kids were excited, pointing out different facts about the ride.
Then we turned down a little path that took us to our own elevator car.
Suddenly, my daughter didn't want to ride the ride anymore.
We were literally at the precipice of stepping up on the ride.
I told her "Nope! You begged me to go and we've made it this far. There's no going back now"
And we rode the ride.
It is now one of our favorites - I know it's one of mine!
I woke up this morning and realized I punched a ticket for a journey that I didn't ask for it, and that I don't want.
Tomorrow, I see the surgeon, and all of this is going to become very real. No more closing my eyes tightly through ultrasounds. No more closing the folder because I don't want to read what's in it.
It's not gonna be fun, I am not gonna enjoy it, but I can't turn back now.
I can only hope that in time, I will look back on this as time that the Lord got me through - a time in this first step in a terrifying journey that I am ultimately victorious over.
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