It's brave of me to do this before 9 a.m. I generally don't even feel body hunger until 11 or noon, but I have lots to do today. So let the games begin.
It's pouring rain. It was tough to leave the house. But I wanted more of those Hops n Drops Smashed Potatoes. And I refuse to pay delivery fees on anything but pizza. Evenon pizza, I am coming around to a pickup attitude because we live in an area rather close to pizza restaurants.
Hops n drops egg breakfasts are not worth much of a hoot. The Smashed Potatoes and breakfast biscuit are a lot better. But. I wasn't about to cook this weekend.
I make a mean breakfast, perfected over time. But. Time + Cleanup = Sometimes Just No and Yeah, Fuck That.
I won't be hitting these guys up again unless I am having a lust for their Smashed Potatoes. And that will be the only thing ordered. Still, my home fries are better.
It's funny me talking about food so much and now being a big fan of a cooking show when I generally hate the process of eating. I'd say some of that is hunger. I spend a lot of time being a little bit hungry, I think.
The worst is when they anxiety kicks up and you know you're having body hunger but you just realllllly don't want to deal with it. It increases anxiety which is then gone after eating a meal. Most people experience it as "hanger", but I feel like resrrictive ED people like myself tend not to present as irritable when hungry. It tends to be an anxiety thing. Especially ARFID. This is our base state and it's almost like for whatever reason we don't register it as hostile feelings. Having to do with being a little hungry more often than not. But then that baseline theory does not explain why we still experience anxiety. Which is in the same ballpark. Perhaps because arfid is, itself, an ocd anxiety state. Or maybe I experience more irritability with hunger than I think.
Anyway. Great episode about Lighthouse Corn Chowder by Max. I am going to make it or task B with making it, if she is open. Will talk about that next time.
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