While counting with my fingers this morning, which proved to be an effective tool - yet sad all at the same time, a certain reality became evident once again. I've been hoofing it around on this earth for a long time. Not as long as some have, but on the other hand, longer the others.
Without sounding or coming across as flippant, the past year, or several years for that matter have proven and emphasized a number of uncertainties or certainy's in terms of life and living it. Most of them fit well into some old saying or cute folksy quote, that Grandpa might have tossed out creating a weird and uncomfortable moment in what was to that point a "comfortable family moment."
Without opening the door to what "Grandpa might have quipped thus making everyone uncomfortable", what has become abundantly apparent over the past year or more, is that stuff and more importantly people will not last forever. Everything, including the ones we love the most, has an "end date."
So, where is all this going, you might be asking?
Good point. Let's head off then, recognizing that this will not be a post on "old adages and cliches," although they seem to be at the front of the line at the moment.
Here we go...
I have no idea, nor would I even want to hazard a guess as to how many "old adages or quotes" might actually exist in the world.
One that often pops up or comes to mind are those in the realm of, "hiding in plain sight" or "can't see the forest for the trees." All of which is exceedingly ironic because the definition of a cliché is "a phrase or opinion that is overused and betrays a lack of original thought"
There you go, "overused and betrays a lack of original thought." A great start.
This is kind of funny because Lynn took this picture of me "hiding in plain sight" while returning during the winter from an adventure on the Bruce Trail in the Beaver Valley area of Grey County(Ontario), way back in 2017 or 2018.
But, leaving the "lack of original thought " aside for the moment, when Lynn posted this picture on a photography Facebook group she administrated on a few years ago, many people commented they thought the "red" might be a male cardinal.
But, there I am "hiding in plain sight" and sorry for the cliché which is "overused and betrays a lack of original thought."
But, "hiding in plain sight" or "can't see the forest for the trees" can in one sense apply to our lives.
How many times have we missed or continually failed to see the beauty that is right in front of our faces? It could be something in nature or more importantly, it could be someone you know and love.
In these instances, often times we use the phrase "taking something or someone for granted"
Source: Google Images
We all take things for granted at some point. Our health, our jobs, our family and loved ones, and often life in general. We take for granted things in our lives that seem stable, reliable, and loyal. Convincing ourselves that these people, things, or situations will always be there in the future. Why? Because they've always been there in the past.
Having made this assumption or having convinced ourselves of their permanence, they tend to blend into the scenery of our daily lives. They become "hidden in plain sight."
And this is the deception of permanence.
Nothing lasts forever. Everything that surrounds us at some point changes. Relationships, life situations, jobs, and the circumstances we find ourselves in. It all eventually changes. However, when we believe that all of it lasts forever or will never change, disappointment and pain aren't usually too far away.
Source: Google Images
It's ironic, and most of us know this. At least I think on some level, we do. If we know something doesn't last forever, why do we treat it or people as if they do? So, if we know that, why would we ever take anything for granted?
Examining it in terms of relationships, when we meet someone new and exciting, we tend to pay lots of attention to them. We acknowledge them, heap love and praise all over them till they can't stand it anymore. Every moment with them is exciting. A new adventure around the next corner. That new person really stands out from the usual background of life we're used to. But, after time we unconsciously assume or have convinced ourselves of their permanence, they tend to start to blend into the scenery of our daily lives. They become "hidden in plain sight."
The deception of permanence.
Does it mean we stopped loving or caring for these things or people? I don't think so. Many times, we just simply don't stop or pause often enough to appreciate them or pay attention to their being in our lives.
We take for granted what we value most, such as our livelihoods and loved ones. We fool ourselves into thinking they will always be there when we need them, so we get blindsided when we lose them.
But, there is light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.
Source: Google Images
Working at being aware of those around us and getting grounded in the present makes us more likely to see the value in everything. When we see value in a situation and more importantly people, aren't we less likely to take things for granted?
We need to remind ourselves that along with paying taxes, change is the only constant in life.
Pretty easy to lose focus on things when they're "hiding in plain sight." Staying in the moment can be tough especially when the autopilot button is handy. Just click it on and it's super easy to cruise and let our attention wander, oblivious to much that is going on around us.
Here are four ways to help us value those people in our lives. To focus on those that may be "hiding in plain sight." These are just thoughts and ideas of my own and by no means an exhaustive list.
Obviously, there is a multitude of ways to help us value those around us.
Live in the moment
We need to learn to live in the present. Not to think about living in the moment, but just to "live in the moment."
We need to quit dwelling in the past about the things that could have been or should have been. We wallow in a sea of regrets and missed opportunities.
When dreaming of the future, we get absorbed in what should and shouldn't happen. Forgetting that much of the future and the things that we will experience may not be in our control.
We need to work each day to "live in the present." Only then can we truly start noticing and appreciating those around us.
Slow down
Right now, we live in a world that is always in a rush driving us towards whatever is next on the list vying for our time.
More often than not, the best time-spender may be the person sitting across from us. The spouse or child sitting next to you on the couch.
To value the people in our lives, the ones closest and dearest to us, we must slow down long enough to hear and understand their needs and then respond appropriately.
Recognize the good in people
Compliments go a long way in valuing someone and building positive relationships.
The key is this. When you're with the ones you love, always be searching for the good. Our mind at times will default to see someone's faults, even those closest to us. But, remember we're looking and trying to value those around us.
Complimenting someone always leaves them a little taller; a feeling a little better than a few minutes prior. When we seek and acknowledge what's good in a person means we value them.
I think we've evolved(in a negative sense) as a species taking us to a point where it becomes much easier and simpler to see someone's faults. Perhaps, because we can be so surrounded by negative all the time.
So, fight to see and acknowledge the best and the good about others.
Be vulnerable
When we're willing to admit our own faults and imperfections to those we cherish, aren't we telling them that we're human too? Kind of makes the playing field a bit more level.
How does this show we/you value a person? It's by showing them, you care more about them than you do about "saving face." Being vulnerable also communicates honesty, trust, and boldness.
If you think about it for just a second, it would be exceedingly difficult for us to lay our weaknesses and faults on the table, without first truly valuing the person sitting across from us.
Right now, this very minute we can start getting better at focusing our attention on the things that really matter right here and now.
Even if they might be "hiding in plain sight."
How do you value and even more show the people around you; the ones closest to your heart that they have value and you value them?
What are the things you do?
Remember, because if you think you have forever, you don't.
--as always with love--
--- get outdoors; find inspiration; discover yourself ---
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