"I am alarmed when it happens that I have walked a mile into the woods bodily, without getting there in spirit."
― Henry David Thoreau, "Walking"
This happened to me Saturday. This summer has been my worst in years. Rain, humidity, work at home and stress from life and work have occupied the driver's seat much more than I should allow. After all, what's the point of being single and childless if you can't go do as you please?
I have needed time in nature for a while now and just couldn't swing it so I made a bargain with myself Saturday. I had more or less hit a wall where I could no longer function amongst normal humans. So, once my obligations were fulfilled, I would go somewhere that I could get lost for a while.
Unfortunately, the nearest hiking trails to my home are in the Hocking Hills State Park, a beautiful place that has more or less been ruined by the hoards of people who are loving it to death. But I foolishly believed that it wouldn't be so bad by early evening and that I could make do.
Boy, was I wrong.
I shouldn't have parked the car when I saw that the parking lot was such a circus. I shouldn't have gotten out of the car at all. I should have just turned and left when I realized there would be no peace. But I soldiered on, regretting every step. Even on a trail that usually isn't heavily occupied, there was never a time I couldn't hear humans babbling about their jobs or about what someone said to offend them. There was rarely a time you couldn't hear cars and the roar of motorcycles.
There was never a time I could tune out the babble and simply enjoy the canopy of trees overhead or the compacted dirt beneath my feet. The peaceful birdsong was all but obliterated by people who were oblivious to their surroundings. I just kept wondering why they bothered coming to the woods when they were utterly unaware of the power and beauty of it all. They could have been walking in a mall parking lot for all they seemed to care.
Who was I kidding? There would be no losing myself here. The only thing I was losing was my patience and desire to be there.
As Thoreau would say, I went to the woods with my body but never got there in spirit.
So I walked about 30 minutes out before I decided to stop punishing myself. Instead, I left and went into town to pick up some things at Walmart. Interestingly, it was more peaceful and people were more polite at the Walmart than at the state park.
Do with that information what you will but it's a sad commentary if you ask me.
I hope to try a hike tonight but will go to another one of the parks or nature preserves in the area. None are as convenient but any should be a better choice for actually absorbing and enjoying nature.
And boy, do I need it.
Is there a moral to this story? One might be to carefully choose conditions that will improve your mood and trust your gut when it says to leave. Another might be to not allow outside forces so much power over your life. If the weather is poor when you want to hike, go anyway. If other people want to dictate how you spend your free time, resist. No is a complete sentence and it's a fair one to use when you know enough is enough.
And don't neglect your own physical and mental health for so long that it becomes a crisis. Look out for yourself, friends. No one else will do it for you.
Don't worry. I'll try again and I'll keep trying till I get there in spirit.
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