Sir Ray Avery writes at LinkedIn:
New Zealand We Have A Problem
Today it was reported that the number of antidepressants dispensed to New Zealand children and teens has jumped by 53% in the past five years.
Given that New Zealand is already a world leader with respect to teen suicide rates this is a critical and worrying trend.
Particularly because we know that the benefits of prescribing antidepressants for children and adolescents are usually modest and the drawbacks can be major, including increases in suicidal thinking in some users.
Our kids are becoming increasingly unhappy and the algorithm is not hard to unpack.
Our egalitarian culture calls out Tall Poppies and anyone who looks or acts differently which manifests itself with NZ having the second highest rates of bulling in schools in the developed world.
And technology like the i phone has has weaponized the cyberbullying of our kids with a tool just as deadly as a gun.
At home many of our kids feel neglected, isolated and afraid. At one end of the spectrum because they live in poverty with family violence being on the menu every day and at the other end of the spectrum in a unicorn family where their parents are too busy with their careers to spend time with their kids.
I remember being taken into care at the age of seven living with paid "foster parents" who would go out to eat every evening leaving me at home alone with a plate of bread and jam and an apple.
So, I took to the streets with a rouge family of other post war kids and one night we put a rag into the petrol cap of an old abandoned car on a bombed building site at the end of the road and set light to it.. It exploded blowing out all the windows in the street and the police and fire brigade came. Thankfully we were not caught because my life may have changed in an instance.
Years later I was picked up off the streets of London by a teacher and social worker Jack Wise who got me back into the education system where I thrived.
Jack was the first person in my life who showed me any love.
Every day I try to pay this love forward in my work philanthropic work ,especially in the family violence space ,and with my wife and two young daughters.
So I am the first of the family to rise in the morning and I walk down to the French bakery and then onto the Italian coffee shop to get the morning breakfast orders. Two small cappuccinos for my wife and I and ,one mocha for Amelia and one hot chocolate for Anastasia and a morning treat for the girls ,today it was a honey waffle.
All served to them in bed with love.
Because love is the best medicine that you can give your kids.
So take some time today to love your kids and if we all do this then maybe we can make NZ a happy place for our kids.
Love is essential medicine for happy, healthy children and it doesn't have to be expressed through treats.
Apropos of which, this poem by Donna Ashworth resonates:
YOUR TO-DO LIST
Your to-do list can wait,
it is later than you think
and you cannot ask for time back
once it's gone.
At work you'll be replaced
but at home you just cannot
and your presence is the one thing
they most want.
There are bills that must be paid
but at the end of all your days
it's the love you shared
that keeps your people fed.
They can forge a better life
knowing you were by their side
and the stories that you made
will be their bread.
Your to-do list can wait,
it is later than you think and
you cannot ask for time back
when it's passed.
You're not here to break your back
doing every little task
you are here to make the memories
that will last.
This poem can be found in her book Life, you can find out more about the poet, her poems and how to buy her books here.
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