Carol Balawyder posted: " https://worldmsday.org/ Click on the link for more information. In my novella Not by Design, Felicity Starr develops Multiple Sclerosis. Here is an excerpt on her first day attending an MS support group. I finally attend the MS sup" Carol Balawyder
In my novella Not by Design, Felicity Starr develops Multiple Sclerosis. Here is an excerpt on her first day attending an MS support group.
I finally attend the MS support group that my doctor recommended. I imagine sitting in a room filled with handicapped people feeling sorry for themselves, talking about a disease which no one in their lives can understand. The doctor claims I will make friends there, like some of her other patients my age, but I seriously doubt it.
The room is packed with at least twenty people. I still long to escape but can't see any way to make my exit without calling attention to myself.
A young woman with turquoise painted finger nails, who introduces herself as Audrey, claps to get our attention. "Okay, guys, it's seven o'clock. Time to start the meeting."
Audrey wants each of us to say what's on our minds this evening. Looking straight at me, she adds, "New members are welcome to join in."
"Gina, why don't you start off and then we'll go around the table," she says. My heart pumps an extra beat as I count the number of people before it will be my turn. What can I possibly say? Not the truth – that this is the last place where I want to be.
Gina has dark features and a quick smile. She talks about the new medication she's on and how she feels so much better now. A discussion on various medications follows, which I find confusing. They rattle off drugs like names on a roster: Avonex, Novantrone, Tysabri. They may as well be speaking a foreign language.
Jody is next. "MS sucks," she says. Now, here's someone I can relate to. "The other day I went to Starbuck's for a latte. I was standing in line when I felt my leg weaken. I toppled over the coffee display, catching myself on the way down. People stepped away from me in alarm. It was embarrassing, but not as embarrassing as having to explain that I have MS." Jody inhales sharply. "My balance has been off for a year now and I still don't want to walk with a cane."
My gaze glides towards a series of canes leaning against a wall, and I nod in agreement.
"If people judge me, that's their problem," a woman sitting across from me says. "I can't afford to fall."
"I refuse to be treated any differently because of my MS. It's not who I am, it's what I have to cope with," says Hugh.
"MS is a bizarre disease," someone else says. "No one can tell that we're sick." There's talk about the sudden pain that starts at the feet and goes up the legs and spinal cord without warning.
"That's MS," the facilitator says. "We all have different symptoms and, like Hugh pointed out, it's something we live with but not who we are."
A male voice says, "It's his loss" which is interjected by, "When I tell someone that I have MS, it's a test of their friendship. If they stop seeing me, I know they were not true friends."
The conversation turns to dating and whether it's better to tell the person up front that you have MS, or to wait until you get to know each other.
"Up front is best. If you wait too long, the other person will feel betrayed when he finds out," a woman with a pink hat says.
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