Thankfully, in the past few years, I've grown into myself. I don't worry as much as I used to about what people think about me. Don't get me wrong, I used to. Prior to my current professional role, I had a very toxic coworker. She never liked me, and I'll never know why; she just didn't. That relationship took a lot out of me. I kept wondering what I could do to repair myself to make me more likable. Thankfully, I moved on from that role, and what I learned when I stepped back is that it wasn't me, it was her. She just didn't like me.
I have to work with her again, but in a cursory role. When we do meet, she is saccharine to me. I just smile and work alongside her. I don't care anymore that she doesn't like me. I can't change HER feelings; I can only control mine. My feelings for her have changed. I feel sorry that she doesn't know the real me. She will never know the kind, caring, loving person I am. She doesn't know the fun coworker I am. The person who, when she lets you in her life, will look out for you, and sacrifice for your happiness.
I know who I am. Ironically, it took her malice towards me to cause me to move from the role I had. She actually saved me. She was the catalyst who propelled me to find the role I was born for; the one I hold now. When I found this role, I found the people who see my value. They bring out the best in me because I bring out the best in them. Through their belief in me, I have healed and I am finally the person I was born to be.
Also, from the confidence I've gained in my new role, I am more well-rounded in life. I value my friendships. I see the people who value me, and I value them. I care more deeply, because I've been subjected to hostility. I know how awful it feels, I don't want others to feel it.
As a result of my bully's actions, I have peace in my life. I no longer care that she doesn't like me. Her malevolent behavior moved me into a wonderful new role. I see myself as a smart, strong, talented woman. What a gift.
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