This week was a full one. We unexpectedly went out of town at the last minute last weekend thanks to the generosity of our neighbors, who lent us their lake house, and had the best time -- only I was battling strep throat, which made swallowing unpleasant until the antibiotics kicked in. (What is going on with strep this year? It's barreled through our home and I have multiple friends whose children have had it back-to-back / multiple times this season, often presenting with strange, non-throat-related symptoms. I'm so tired of talking about ailments that I won't go on but -- arg.) We returned early on Monday morning in order to make it to the funeral of a dear friend's parent. We did not know the parent well, but were anxious to show our support in any way we could, and afterward, I was reminded and reassured by Julia Kasdorf's words:
"I learned to attend viewings even if I didn't know
the deceased, to press the moist hands
of the living, to look in their eyes and offer
sympathy, as though I understood loss even then.
I learned that whatever we say means nothing,
what anyone will remember is that we came."
I said nothing helpful -- because what can be said? -- but I did show up in black, and stand in the pews, and offer my spare but only condolences. There have been too many deaths among my friends' parents lately, and I am terrified at the prospect of this new life stage, where we are the adults. I can't sit with those thoughts for long because they leave me dark, but, just to say - I am sending love to all my friends navigating these new, disorienting, bruising straits.
The rest of the week was unnaturally busy with events for two people who try not to be busy, but we did have a fantastic time, and somehow the house did not implode: a reception at Ralph Lauren, a dinner date at Lutece followed by a piano and violin concert at the French Embassy, a lunch and park date with our son (finishing up his spring break), and then a dinner date with two of our good friends. This week, while flecked with sadness and illness, reminded me how good and full and heavy-on-the-vine our lives are right now. I feel whole and intact, especially after that weekend at the lake, just the four of us, during which I unlocked a major secret of traveling with young children:
Travel by yourselves. It is so much easier.
I have written elsewhere that traveling "is not for us" right now -- that it is too hard, too much. That we expect relief while on "vacation" but our children need us twice as much as they adapt to new sleeping circumstances, new experiences, later bedtimes, looser diets. A Magpie reader wrote in a few months ago to urge me to try traveling just the four of us, insisting that travel is much easier when you are not accommodating other schedules, commitments, plans. She was so deeply right. I actually felt like I was on vacation while we were at the lake. I was happy, unspooled. We did not need to compete with anyone else's nap schedules or dinner timetables. We just did what we want when we wanted to, calling things early if we sensed our children were at the end of their tether, or prolonging activities if the kids were hanging in there. We had strangely early dinners and didn't need to worry when the children came barreling down the stairs at 6:19 in the morning. It was just us, and it was fantastic.
If you, like me, have come to dread travel with children, you might try it without anyone else. Major, life-changing unlock. There will be times in the future where traveling with friends/family is easier. Maybe we're just going to lean into our own pod for now.
A couple of moments and discoveries from the week to share...
01. MICHELLE WILHITE CLUTCH -- Can you even with this gorgeous clutch?! The founder of the brand sent it over to me and I squealed when I unwrapped it. It is such a fabulous and unexpected pattern -- reminds me of some of the gorgeous pieces from early Markarian -- and I can't wait to pair it with this hot pink dress for a summer event, but in the meantime, am finding ways to dress it down. (I'm wearing above with a past-season Julia Amory shirtdress; similar here.)
02. J. CREW X SZ BLOCKPRINTS SWIMSUIT -- Love so many of the pieces from this collaboration, but especially this swimsuit! I own this suit style in a different pattern from last season and it was easily my favorite, most-worn swimsuit last summer. I sized up one size and it fit me like a dream -- nothing cinched/cut-off, but still snug. I had to buy this punchy key lime and blue pattern. Also love this asymmetrical style from the collection!
03. SUMMER SHOES -- This little moment presented such a happy color story! I have my Naghedi tote, my Gucci slides, my Patricia Green sandals, and this happy striped dress, which I sadly ended up returning. It runs big and long and would have required a ton of tailoring to make it work. If you are taller, please go for it! A perfect birthday dress.
04. TBBC POLLY PLAY DRESSES -- I've mentioned this a few times, but these ultra-soft patterned t-shirt dresses are a happy medium for my daughter and I, fashion-wise. She'd prefer to wear shorts and a t-shirt if she had her druthers, and these are a good compromise. Some of the patterns are on sale for as little as $15! I already ordered three styles! You can see her in one above, working on her Usborne sticker book. Those remain such a great travel essential for us. Both of my kids adore them!
05. LIZZIE FORTUNATO BLOOM NECKLACE -- My latest addition to my daily jewelry stack. I absolutely adore this one. Looks fabulous layered with other pieces or worn on its own.
06. YOUTH TO THE PEOPLE FACIAL CLEANSER -- I promise not to make this facial cleanser my entire personality. I know I've been mentioning it a lot. But I am nothing if not evangelical about a good find! My current skincare routine is: this cleanser, this exfoliating toner, Clarins Double serum, Thomas Grove skincare oil, and this inexpensive brightening moisturizer. I usually like to use a Vitamin C product but right now I can't bear the thought of adding yet another oil/serum/drop to my regimen, so I figure I'm getting enough of the way there between the serum/oil. I will probably eventually rotate Vit C back in.
07. ULLA JOHNSON NANETTE DRESS -- Just SUCH a fun pattern and color. I wore this to our date night at Lutece (strong recommend -- in the top ten places we've been to since moving back; don't miss the vol au vent with lobster). I didn't have time to wash my hair so I hid it behind this headband and finished with these flats (in the woven/natural colr) as I knew we'd be walking a little bit around Georgetown. I'm pairing above with a wicker box bag I actually found on Amazon last summer that has really stood the test of time. It's no longer available, but it was definitely heavily-inspired by this Mark Cross bag. You can get a similar vibe with this Zara score ($59!) or this gently-used Mark Cross. But back to the Ulla dress for a sec -- I just love the vibrant, shibori-esque patterns she's playing with right now. Eyeing this next.
P.S. I have not read anything this week -- in a full week! -- and it just reminds me that I have very little give in my schedule. If I'm leaning into social activities, another ball will drop. And that's fine. But what about you? Any recs since this book we all loved?
P.P.S. Actually, I lied. I did read some things online and was truly transfixed by this essay Roxane Gay published by Alena Muir. Such an earnest but tightly-edited piece on grief. (Every two weeks, Gay publishes a piece by an up-and-coming author. I shared this one on Instagram, tagging Gay, and she actually re-posted my post. I don't think I've ever hit a high so hard. I absolutely worship at her feet -- she is such an important voice in the contemporary cultural conversation.) Some meandering thoughts on grief here and here.
P.P.P.S. What is your preferred house music?
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